Why are there monkeys?
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Would you like to communicate with Brooke Jones...

...or, perhaps, arrange an interview with her? Excellent! You have two choices. You can either...well, actually, no, you probably can’t. The first method has, thus far, proven to be entirely unreliable. It involves Vulcan Mind-Melds, balloons, and medically-induced smoke signals, so, to quote the immortal Miss Emily Litella: “Never mind.” To ensure that your communique reaches its destination, please fill out the form.

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